Conflict Resolution Skills

I Messages-- so simple, so important.

An I-Message has three (sometimes four) parts-- brilliant in their simplicity and impossible to argue with.  We can certainly argue over "what happened" or "who did what", but we can't argue our way out of how somebody feels.

Also, the beauty of the I-Message is that, while it holds us accountable for our actions, it does not send the message that "you MADE ME feel this way!"; rather, this is how I feel when this action occurs and this is what I need.

ALL THAT TO SAY-- here's a simple I-Message
template:

I feel______________________
When you__________________
(Optional: Because___________)
Could you please _____________

That's it.

And in response, a Listening Message:

You feel___________________
When I ___________________
(Optional: Because__________
You would like_____________


Seriously, imagine if for a moment our world leaders communicated in I-Messages.  Ah, what a wonderful world it would be (and here I said I wouldn't get political)!  I find comfort in knowing that we are raising the next generation of world leaders RIGHT NOW!  How amazing that we get the opportunity to teach them these important skills.