When I was suffering through postpartum anxiety following the birth of my son, Max, a therapist described anxiety to me like a snapping, barking dog on a chain-- scary, but something that actually couldn't hurt me. Even as we likely have some form of this knowledge of anxiety, we still may find ourselves at the doors of an E.R. amidst a panic attack-- the symptoms (and our bodies) cannot tell the difference between panic from anxiety and actual harm.
For children especially, anxiety is incredibly real and terrifying. Below are some tips for helping your child to manage their anxiety, as well as keeping your own anxiety in check. To start--
- If your child(ren) asks you the same question over and over again: this is anxiety manifesting itself. Your child does not need a different answer, and this is not necessarily an example of them not listening to you the first hundred or so times you answered. This is your child(ren) needing reassurance. While it may be maddening, you can best help your child by answering their questions again, calmly and in language that they understand. This is especially true for children on the spectrum.
- Looking for an explanation: These are some great resources for how to explain the current COVID-19 pandemic to children. My dad once told me that "children are excellent observers and terrible interpreters", which has always stuck with me, as I remember this from my own childhood. I was a keen observer, yet I would often come to terrible conclusions when left to my own imagination. Often, what children imagine is worse than reality, so it is imperative that we share what we know with them in an honest and developmentally appropriate manner.
- How we can be helpers: Putting worry into action can be an excellent curative factor in quelling anxiety. "Be The Helper" is a post with a list of activities parents and kids can do together to be a part of the helping force during this period of social distancing.
- Conversation starters, putting words to our feelings, and mindfulness activities: Many of the activities which we offer as school counselors focus around how to put our feelings to words and how we can practice mindfulness in our every day lives. You can visit this post for more mindful activities children can do, and how they can connect their feelings with their words.
- Conflict Resolution: Cabin fever creeping in? Sibling strife on the rise? Conflict resolution tools, such as "I-messages", can help children learn how to express their feelings in a healthy, respectful, and constructive manner. See more of these here.
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